Candid Conversation Tools: Part 1
Support CCS Admin August 29, 2024Support CCS believes that public education is the foundation of a healthy democracy: accessible to all, it brings communities together across differences while respecting the individuality of all. In keeping with this spirit of respecting and bridging differences, we asked one of our volunteers, Julie Kratz (who, in addition to being mom to three current CCS students, is an Inclusive Leadership Trainer!) to share some tips about how we can have conversations with our neighbors in a way that is candid while also being respectful and productive.
Hi, this is Julie! I am excited to be sharing useful tools and information to help everyone engage with our community during this important School Board election cycle.
Today, we’ll focus on “Perspective Taking.”
Perspective-taking is about trying to understand the experiences of someone different from you without being able to experience them yourself. It requires creating empathy-bridges to the other party through listening and learning, hopeful reciprocation, and eventually unlearning and relearning from a new perspective.
In 2022, I had a perspective-taking event that remains vivid in my memory. I volunteered to help out at the polls to support the Support CCS endorsed candidates for our School Board election. When I arrived at the polling site for my volunteer shift, I found myself stationed next to a member of the opposing School Board candidates’ representatives for 3 hours. The conversation started with small talk about the weather and non-controversial subjects then progressed into deeper topics.
I asked the person to explain their school board slate’s position. They kindly shared they believed in parents’ rights and in placing a priority on test scores. I listened and nodded as I (as well as the Support CCS candidates) also believe in parents’ rights, but I asked a few follow-up questions to better understand the perceived differences of their opinion. I mentioned a few facts as he shared, yet I listened to understand first.
When he didn’t reciprocate the interest in learning about our slate’s platform, I asked if I could share why I had decided to support my slate. Upon his agreement, I stated matter-of-factly, “The reason I support this slate is because our children need to be prepared to enter a global workforce where people will have different backgrounds and experiences. To not prepare them for the world is a disservice to their education.”
By the end of the shift, we were trading facts and stories and he said he learned things from me that he hadn’t ever heard before. I don’t think he’d spent a lot of time with someone like me, and I had not engaged with someone like him in a mindful respectful debate in some time as well. That’s the thing about perspective-taking, trying on others’ perspectives usually leads to learning and growth.
Did I change his mind? No. Did he change my mind? No. However, there was a new openness and willingness to try to understand each other’s perspective.
Our brains dislike learning things that we believe we already know and learning new things as we grow older. Channel that youthful curiosity you once had or model the curiosity of the young people in your life.
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