Candid Conversation Tools: Part 2
Support CCS Admin September 11, 2024Support CCS believes that public education is the foundation of a healthy democracy: accessible to all, it brings communities together across differences while respecting the individuality of all. In keeping with this spirit of respecting and bridging differences, we asked one of our volunteers, Julie Kratz (who, in addition to being mom to three current CCS students, is an Inclusive Leadership Trainer!) to share some tips about how we can have conversations with our neighbors in a way that is candid while also being respectful and productive.
Hi, this is Julie! I am excited to be sharing useful tools and information to help everyone engage with our community during this important School Board election cycle.
Today, we’ll focus on “Re-Thinking.”
It’s best to keep an open mind and practice empathy when engaging in a hard conversation. If you go into a charged conversation thinking that you have nothing to learn or assuming that the other person “will never change”–both of those things will come true. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. When was the last time that strategy was successful on you?
If you approach the discussion with an open mind and empathy for the person you’re speaking with, people usually reciprocate and are less defensive.
People want to think for themselves and use their free will to develop their own opinions. That means that we have to also be malleable in our own opinions and assumptions. To turn on the neocortex, the rational part of our brains, we have to keep her emotions in check. Mindfulness techniques like taking a short walk, doing some deep breathing or spending a few moments collecting your thoughts in the bathroom can help mentally shift to a more productive place.
Adam Grant’s podcast Re-Thinking and book Think Again are great resources to build a re-thinking mindset. Some of my favorite conversational approaches to foster re-thinking are:
- “What information would you need to reconsider that?”
- “Let’s research this together and see what data we can find about the issue.”
- “I used to think that, too.”
- “What did you mean when you said that?”
These questions invite people into a conversation versus a tug-of-war where neither party is listening to one another and just hoping to get their point across. Talking at someone, versus with them, usually deepens existing opinions rather than shifting opinions.
Related Posts
